How much Child Support/istance is too much?

Please, please, read the entire post. I need ALL the POSITIVE feedback/Help you can give me. here's the scoop: I divorced from the mother of my kids 3yrs ago. We had already been living in seperate households. I live in one state she lived in NY state. I have never met the man who helped create me, so being part of my girls' lives has ALWAYS been a MOST. From the time that my ex-wife and I split up I ALWAYS wired money which helped a lot when she file for government istance and had to put me on a Court Mandated support. The judge was very impressed that I had kept a record of all the money I had wired her, which helped me also because I had no back support to pay. Last year I lost my job and have recently found a job. I was fortunate enough to find a job within a month. I now make $2/hr less than what I was making. Aside from working full time I also attend school 2 nights a week. I filed for a support modification, requesting the support be lowered. I currently pay 463./bi weekly on top of Medical,Dental and Vision insurances for my girls, which leaves me with a take home of $453.95 bi weekly. Now this actually puts me way below the minimum wage for my state which is 8.25/hr. In the mean time, my ex-wife is still living off sec 8, welfare, food stamps and my Child Support. She is physically able to work. She has her High School diploma but chooses not to work. Why would she? She makes more than I do, without even working. My modification request court date is Next week on 4/7. I orcourse request an electronic hearing since I cant pay to fly out of state and be there personally. I need help.. I cant afford a lawyer, but one did give me a free consultation. He said she's ripping me off, she has the education to work, yet chooses not to, but in the end, there is no magic wand, magic word or sentence that I can say. It is what it is, I will still pay what I pay now. He said chances are things will be the same once that hearing is over with. I am attending school to get a degree to better myself, but with the money I am making I can hardly pay for my mortgage. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance.